Heart of Mary Homebound Ministry
Kris Gaspari, OLIH parishioner, writes:
I was born with hip dysplasia (both hips were out of my hip sockets) and a connective tissue disorder. As I got older my joints started collapsing and I had many surgeries over the years. In 2019 my right hip had degenerated considerably and my labrum was torn. My knee was damaged I was in extreme pain, not sleeping and it was getting very difficult to function both mentally and physically. It took months to find a surgeon who could help me.
In November that year, a specialist in Iowa City agreed to take me as a patient and surgery was scheduled for February 5, 2020. I spent the next 3 months isolated, keeping myself healthy for surgery. I was homebound, without really even knowing what that meant.
During those months before my surgery, the pain became so debilitating I broke down and begrudgingly used a cane to get to Mass. Pride got the better of me that day; I was embarrassed and in tears. I sat in my usual spot and grieved who I used to be. I will never forget how I felt; however, I will also never forget how I felt when I received the Body and Blood of Christ that morning
As I approached the Eucharistic Minister, I bowed in reverence and held out my hand to accept Jesus. I was given several pieces of the large Body of Christ that the priest holds up during the consecration. It amounted to more than normal. Tears filled my eyes as I realized that Jesus knew what I needed. That morning, I received an extra dose of healing via the Body of Christ and I finally felt peace and hope.
I learned what it meant to be homebound and be spiritually hungry for the Body of Christ. I learned to completely trust Jesus and rely on the prayers of family and friends. I had to work through pain, sleepless nights, feelings of being left out and learning how to accept help. I successfully had my hip and knee replacements in February and June during the early months of COVID-19.
My good friend Mary was homebound with her husband, whose health was declining. She was homebound as well, providing him with constant care and companionship, and I saw how difficult it was for her. After his passing, God called me to walk with her throughout her journey of grief.
I visited her often, took her shopping, helped her clean out her apartment and donate her husband’s belongings. She was very grateful and we grew very close over the course of these experiences. God was watering that seed he planted in me. I thought of all the other members of our parish who didn’t have someone to lend a hand or an ear. Something was stirring deep in my heart…a ministry of the corporal acts of mercy.
Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, known as “the little flower’, is very special to me. She was a Carmelite nun who lived in the late 1800s (read more about her here). For Thérèse it’s not the little things that matter but rather, it’s the little things done with love. Therese's message is about simplicity and love in the ordinary events of life. Placing your trust in Therese when she wills, results in roses or their fragrance appearing.
I needed guidance, so I started a 9 day novena asking St. Therese for her intercession. “When you can’t come to Church, the Church comes to you” kept coming to me during my time of prayer. On the final day of the novena, I met friends for dinner. For dessert, I asked the worker for a frosted sugar cookie and instead of going to the glass-enclosed counter in front, she went somewhere else and appeared with a red rose shaped cookie and asked, “Would you like a rose?”
Instantly I teared up. Therese had indeed interceded and showed me a rose. In that moment it started to become clear when I remembered the Eucharistic ministers bringing Jesus to me when I couldn’t come to Jesus.
I approached Father Michael and asked him if there were any elderly in our parish that needed someone. It wasn’t long afterwards I received an email asking if I would be interested in taking communion to those in nursing homes since Sister Susan, who had previously headed that outreach, had retired. I agreed to di it, but Jesus had a bigger plan.
In my prayer, He used my personal “homebound” experience to inspire more than taking the Body of Christ to nursing homes. I had been homebound, I wasn’t considered elderly and I wasn’t in a nursing home. I remember longing to receive the Body of Christ before my surgeries. The seed God planted had bloomed and I researched putting together a homebound ministry with a much broader scope.
I had been praying about a name for the ministry when on the Feast Day of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (celebrated the third Sunday after Pentecost), the Immaculate Heart embroidered on the priest’s stole/vestment caught my attention. The Heart of Mary Homebound Ministry officially had a name and the names of eight homebound parishioners.
The Holy Spirit and our Blessed Mother guided me through bringing the entire ministry to fruition. They helped me identify what constitutes being homebound and who are our homebound in the parish. A training program and handbook for homebound ministers was developed to make it easy, consistent, and within the teaching of the Catholic Church. Volunteer and homebound assessments were created.
Some of our homebound struggle with memory issues so calling cards were created for each ministry to leave for family letting them know they had a visit. Pocket prayer shawls and crosses were crocheted by the Knit One, Purl Two ladies at OLIH. St. Therese prayer beads were created to help the homebound reflect on 10 blessings.
These single decade, 10 bead rosaries are given to the homebound to remind them that when you hold the rosary, you’re holding Mary’s hand. I also knew it would be important to develop a way to track both volunteers and homebound information online and automate the process. Tracking the information allows a connection to other ministries in our parish, such as Stephen Ministry and youth volunteer projects.
In addition to homebound ministers we also have “Comfort Callers” who visit our grieving parishioners to bring them comfort and a booklet to start the “Journeying With Grief” series. Every 3 months for a year, they are mailed booklets to help navigate the stages of grief.
Being homebound is not restricted to the elderly in nursing homes. We serve those who are facing surgery, healing at home, or in the hospital, caregivers who can’t leave their loved ones to get to Mass, those enduring cancer treatments, and people of all ages, including the young.
One particular day I was a little frustrated and I found myself questioning my sacrifices. I read a devotional intended to inspire the homebound but instead, it was clearly intended to speak to me. I read, “I don’t want your sacrifice, I want your mercy.” Talk about a forehead slap! It’s changed how I approach others in need. It has made me think differently about the corporal acts of mercy in the following ways:
Feed the hungry—not food but the Gospel.
Give drink to the thirsty—not a thirst for water, but quenching a spiritual thirst.
Clothe the naked—not with clothing, but with the Word.
Visit the imprisoned—prison can be many forms such as a home, hospital, nursing home or compromised health or a disability.
Shelter the homeless—shelter the homebound with love and connection to the church.
Visit the sick—not just physical but spiritual sickness. Bring Jesus to heal.
Bury the dead—help heal from loss of any forms, not just human loss.
A homebound visit consists of a short communion service of about 15 minutes, followed by reflecting on the gospel, a time of prayer, devotional reading and good old-fashioned face-to-face friendship. Trained homebound ministers are matched according to the assessments of both the minister and the homebound. We are focused on connecting the homebound with Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart family.
For whatever reason you might be homebound or grieving, we come with Jesus, with mercy and compassion to perform acts of kindness with love and prayer. We don’t judge; we serve. A homebound visit can be tailored to meet varying needs. Visit frequency range from every week or once a month, temporary or until they are called home to Jesus. You might be meet at home, outside, in a nursing home or assisted living, or in a hospital or other recovery facility.
Maybe you’re not comfortable having someone in your home— accommodations can be made. If you have others in your household they are encouraged to receive the Body of Christ, too. If your loved one needs sacraments such as Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick or Last Rites, we can arrange for one of our priest to administer.
I have been so blessed in this ministry by serving the homebound. One of the gifts of this ministry is to offer the Body of Christ to the dying, often referred to as ‘food for the journey’. Even though a person may not be able to consume a whole host, even the tiniest crumb is Jesus.
Another blessing is the relationship that forms and the increase of awareness of the needs of others. God used my being homebound to remind me of my baptismal promise to bring Jesus to others. “The King will reply:
Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40
If you have a desire to spiritually feed the hungry or know of someone who needs to be fed, please contact Kris Gaspari at 515-306-7838 or email heartofmaryhomeboundministry@gmail.com. There are brochures in the gathering space information center, east of the main doors with information about becoming a homebound minister and referring someone homebound to the ministry
“When you can’t come to Church, we’ll bring the Church to you.”